Story.

mikeyavila:

I still feel empty and numb. My heart still beats and still yearns for the love we used to share. In your eyes, I feel like the man who was meant to be a stranger, a non-existing being was never meant to cross paths with you again. A man who can’t have the courage to call you, text you, or even talk to you one single bit with a single word of saying ‘hello’. I’ve become nothing more but the man who was never seen as special but to be seen as any other common guy you see in the world. You’ve seen me nothing beyond that anymore because all you saw was the man who was stuck in his past and who was patiently waiting for you to come back. But, all I could see and feel is the man of change you’ve been waiting for, the man of new perspective and new goals just so we could never be together and never cross paths ever again. It was that stable thought that I could never begin or think this could start over, or begin where we left off in our story. But that story was nevertheless a fairy tale that would never come true and existent in this reality we live in.

If only the story we came up with, dreamed of and wished for would come true till the end. If only every thing was shifted and renewed to something we can start again. However, it was just a story, a fairy tale, a dream, and only a mere wish that could never be granted.

29 May 12 mikeyavila Permalink

Is it bad to say that I miss you? I haven’t talked to you in so long that you just make me want to stay up all night long. Is it bad that I still have this hesitation to talk to you? I want to know everything, and dig every thought you have about me. I want to try to dig every thought you have about me since we’ve parted ways. I guess I still care what you think about me, but you probably don’t care about me in general. I don’t know, just talking to you makes days feel like they having meaning and reasons. I just feel better whenever you’re around. I just don’t want you disappearing away from me and the life that I have right now.　

(Source: mikeyavilawpt)

28 May 2 Permalink

I hope one day, I get to tell my future children to never give up on the things they love the most. If they want it, cherish, and keep it forever then they have to do everything they can to fight for it, to defend and to protect it. I want them to understand the gift of love and what it means to have it.　

(Source: mikeyavilawpt)

28 May 7 Permalink

mikeyavila:

There is always that empty spot you feel in your heart and you just want it to go away by just asking someone to fill it in. Whether if its a family member, friend, best friend or who ever you cherish the most. That spot you want to fill in is some body you use to hold dearly to you, someone you love so much but that person walked away from you. Making you feel like every day is always missing something and you can’t help it to find a way to make that missing thing become fulfilled. You never want to feel alone and would always want someone by your side just so you can feel better.

26 May 18 mikeyavila Permalink

It’s funny to see myself being stuck in this same situation for the past three months. My mind is trying to figure out what to do, what to repair, what to bring back and how to get her back. When all of it results to figure out nothing, to repair nothing, to bring back nothing and will never get her back. She moved on, shes happy with her life, and doesn’t care anymore because what we had back then was just ended even before I knew it. She gave up and let go the bond that we held for so long because it wasn’t working out. But what am I doing here, still holding on to something that was meant to be moved away from and let go. I still do not understand what I’m doing by just holding onto something that doesn’t exist anymore. I just honestly wish I can move on like she did. Stop thinking about her, stop feeling this pain against my chest,  and stop feeling depressed almost every single day.

(Source: mikeyavilawpt)

25 May 9 Permalink

I wish it was that easy to talk to you. Talking to you like how we met and how we’ve became friends, but some how you won’t let me go beyond further and back to where we stood before. But there is one thing I don’t understand how it’s difficult enough between two people who’ve grown close to each other, just let go of the strong bond. When you told me how difficult it is to talk to me after coming off a boy/girlfriend relationship, I never saw what was so difficult. I pushed all the barriers to try to prove that wrong. Tried everything I can to maintain this bond we hold and shared between us, but some how you forcefully tried breaking the bond. And all I could see is just me, the guy you know and who you’ve met over the pixelated screen who would never come to exist in your life. Honestly, I feel like I would be just a stranger that you used to know and never exist.

I know for a total fact that I’m always going to be the stranger in the end no matter how hard I try to maintain what was left of us. I don’t know what I should do now to bring back that old bond. 　

(Source: mikeyavila)

23 May 2 Permalink

mikeyavila:

I wish everything would just go back to the way it use to be. It was fine the way it was before, but change had to come along and ruin everything that I’ve gained from my past.

Now I’m just left with nothing but myself.　

22 May 17 mikeyavila Permalink

I’m still stuck at this point where I can’t decide whether if I should hold on and not give up or just move on. I’ve became so indecisive and all I’ve done is just run in circles, hoping things would just come back to me. My heart still flutters and beat so fast every time I see you, but at the same time my mind just tells me that I can’t call you mine anymore. My mind just keeps shoving these negative thoughts, telling me that you don’t care about me, don’t care about my feelings anymore, or probably don’t even care who I am anymore. All these that rush through my mind has changed me into a pessimistic person. 　

(Source: mikeyavilawpt)

21 May 1 Permalink

I’m at the point where I’m just in need for someone to stand by my side until I feel better. I don’t feel like I’m recovering at all because I don’t like the sense of feeling of being alone from place to place or just in room surrounded by nothing but myself. It’s that feeling where you need someone to help you cheer you up, but in a sense, you’re the only person who can find ways and know things to cheer you up. But why isn’t it working for me? I know the things that can cheer me up, but the smile doesn’t  become permanent on my face. 

I just feel at the lost of words now and my thoughts don’t run fluid but all I can think is just someone being at my side for the time being cause I just hate the feeling of being alone.

(Source: mikeyavilawpt)

19 May 2 Permalink

mikeyavila:

I feel like you won’t consider me as a friend, close friend or a best friend at all. You would just see me as the person who just cross paths with you for a long time. Till you went your own separate path and now just consider me as a stranger. This what happens when I’ve haven’t talked to you in so long and feeling the fear of you not talking to me because what we’ve been through in the past. I just feel like I’m going to be the that somebody you use to know. 　

18 May 6 mikeyavila Permalink